Random list of 15 things you need to keep in mind.

1. Keep a lid on it.
You don’t always have to say Shit as you see it.
Everyone else in the room Infact saw that But They thought it best to stay quiet. So should you.

2. The internet isn’t always right.
That’s one of the things I’ve taught myself. The hard way. You can pick a little there But it ain’t the gospel truth.

3. The parents.
They are/were always right. They may always contradict what you do Or stand for But in the end, They have a clue what They are talking about. Wisdom comes with age so, unless you’re older than your mother and father, listen to them and respect them.

4. You donot have to like everybody.
Not everybody that comes your way is meant to be your friend. And not everyone that you can maintain a pleasant conversation with is supposed to be your bestfriend. You are at liberty to dislike those that you dislike and not be nice to everybody. God knows not everybody will like you…

5. Read, listen, Be informed.
A magazine, a paper clipping, a novel, read something. Learn something new every day. Do not be the clueless person at the table who doesn’t know where Madagascar is.

6. Kindness doesn’t cost a thing.
You can always be kind to everybody. Even those that you think don’t deserve it. A small act. Of kindness goes a very long way to making someone’s day better.

7. The value of Faith.
Faith is believing without seeing. Believe in something, someone. Even When your life is going south, bills are piling, your world has come to end, Faith is that one thing that will hold you over the ledge.

8. Good music.
Haven’t met anybody in my life time that doesn’t adore music. I speak for the power of those sang words. It can brighten your day, comfort you and celebrate with you. A beautiful song will help you relax after a long day Or help you clear up that cluttered desk. Listen to good music.

9. Exercise.
We (I) live in a society where exercise is viewed as necessary for weight loss. Only. But that’s not right. Where as it is a tool for weight loss, it is also a key for a longer, healthier, beautiful life. Walking a few kilometres a day could turn out to be a huge investment for the future. life is short, But extremely long When it’s of poor quality.

10. Save.
You’re young, your priorities are less confusing and less demanding. But it won’t be so for long. You won’t be young for much longer. And When you grow older, you will need all the income that you can find. Save for the future, for a rainy day, Or for a sunny day. Do not spend it all at once on something yo won’t remember 2 years later.

11.social capital.
You need to have a huge social capital. I was once told that “if you are in a fix and you scroll through your phone book and can’t call someone to help, delete, and start making new friends…” I add, Or be a better friend. You need to have loyal friends, who will go through the mud with you. Because you will have moments of despair, and you do not want to go through them alone. Be that friend, and you will have those friends.

12. Celebrate.
Every day should be celebration.birthdays, anniversaries, promotions. Do not postpone your big day for the weekend. It won’t be the same. Celebrate the little victories on your way to the big victories.

13. Make time.
Do not be too busy for the world. You are not. Do not make yourself. And if you are busy, make time for people, things you love, for travel, and for love. They will not wait for you to get that opportune time. If you are too busy for the world, it will move on to those who are less busy.

14. Learn to laugh at yourself. Enjoy the joke, even if it is on you. You will be laughed at, lessen the effects by laughing along. Its never that serious, until it is…

15. Bet on yourself.
Believe in yourself. Be confident in your own abilities. Be your own cheerleader, be your own yardstick. Show the world what you want it to see..

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Just Be happy.

By definition is bliss… A state of contentment, joy, good feeling… All that positive emotion and generally a state of being Happy.  we all want to be Happy. Nobody doesn’t want to be Happy .. No one wants to be sad. That little sad and miserable girl in the corner, Or at the back of the room who doesn’t say more than two confident words.. No one wants to be that girl.. Everyone pitties that girl. Many may pretend that that is what They want, But take it from me.. They are lying.. I would know… Everyone wants to have joy in their lives.. Laughter… Peace… Every man, woman, child wants to be Happy all their days.. And more than some are ready to do everything humanly possible to earn that happiness.. Being Happy all the time is such a beautiful thing .. But i guess everyone knows that.. I mean, who would go out of their way to be miserable for all their days?? No one. Unless you got your life twisted. One thing that is for sure is we all get our thrills from different things.. Again, not rocket science. Music, sitting infront of a screen, thinking, writing, sports, chatting up strangers online, partying ..whatever…. We all derive our happiness from very different places… The best thing you can do for yourself and your sanity is to be Happy as much as you can cause life is too short .. Or too long to live through it sad…. Depending on How you wanna see it. So, here is a few ways to ensure you are kept Happy as much as you possibly can.

         “happiness is a gift only I.        can give myself.”

1. Find what makes you Happy and do it. Alot.
Lead yourself to discover what you like to do and do it as often as you possibly can.. Though i must say, this hobby has got to be of non detrimental value to you and your immediate surrounding.. Cause if it is, that will bring with itself alot of unhappiness. You like reading, grab a book in your free time.. You like to dance.. Put your music on and make the world your dance floor .. You like to sing.. The shower is all yours.. Do what you like to do as often as you possibly can. Fortunately for the human race … There are so many things we can do so to keep ourselves not idle. Which brings me to,

2. Avoid being idle and alone all the time…
Spend as little time alone and idle as you possibly can. That combination right there is a recipe for alot of negative affect. See, what happens When you’re idle and lonesome is you start to think about everything and anything. Good and bad. All this thinking may take an unpleasant route. You will think about what’s good.. What’s bad.. And what’s better… Why? When? Wat the heck?? And somehow you’ll start to doubt your recent decisions. Or not. But most likely. So, if you are going to be idle, be idle with somebody .. Or people. You could make something fun out of all that idleness… You could even turn all your combined idleness into a party ..who knows??

3. Step out of debt.
If you are old enough to understand what you read When you read… You are old enough to know the implications of debt… For starters, When you owe somebody money, They temporarily own a certain part of your thoughts… In one way Or the other. Atleast you tell yourself that.. And you cannot successfully plan your future financially without having to give that debt some thought.. Thinking of ways to pay the debt.. Devising means to lessen that burden can do a number on you. And this number to be precise is cutting back on your ability to be Happy. More so if your creditor is in your face alot more than you’d like.. Or the sum is more hefty now that Its pay back time.. So, get rid of debt, Atleast financially and work up a plan of staying debt free cause you will not live in debt after debt all your life.

4. Laugh..
You do not have to be serious all the time.. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be serious at all though. Personally, i have come to learn that it really is never that serious. Unless it involves health Or how fast the wallet is shrinking… Then it is serious. But you need to let loose and laugh it out often. If Its funny, laugh.. If Its embarrassing, laugh your shame away. I have successfully laughed through some of the most disturbing days and i gotta say, it works. Crack a few jokes, surround yourself with people who will laugh with you.. And make you laugh. And learn to laugh at yourself. You will see. The correlation between laughter and happiness is high as be.

You gotta have Faith. Faith in God, Faith in yourself, Faith in people.. Well, those that deserve it.. You got to be a believer. There is joy in the Lord. And what’s better than knowing there’s Always someone Thats got your back? When you have Faith in God, He can never let you down and He too wants you to be as Happy as you’d like.. You don’t have to keep looking back and you can focus on what’s ahead cause you have that Faith that assures you that all is well. And that is a sure way to be Happy. Having a social network that you can allow yourself to believe has your best interests at heart goes a long way to protect you from all that that would make you unhappy.

6. Do your thing.
Do not try to fit in everywhere. You are very much yourself as much as the people you are trying to fit in with are themselves. The.best that you can bring to the table is that part of you that isn’t gotten anywhere else. Love yourself and do not be afraid to be who you are. Then you will be Happy with yourself and it will reflect in your quality of life. Pride in your creativity, dance to your own tune.. And do not be sucked into anyone else’s thing. Be your own person and you will have one less reason to be unhappy.

7. Be as pleasant as you possibility could.
You do not want to walk into a room and have everyone show themselves out Or reach for their phones. You don’t want to be seen coming a mile away and have people ducking so as not to have an encounter with you. Because if that happens, no one will like you. Even those that pretend to will soon tire of the pretence and hang you out Or keep pretending… Don’t know which is worse. Point is no one likes an unpleasant person.. And much as we all think we couldn’t care less about who likes us Or not.. We do. And get affected. Not positively. Smile back When smiled at, say what you have to say without stepping on anybody’s toes, don’t be mean and don’t always play victim. You will be Happy if the people around you don’t go out of their way to make you as miserable as you make them.

8. Give yourself a break.
Once in a while you gotta chill and rest your mind, body and soul. Do not be so hard on yourself When you mess up, God knows you will make more mistakes than you can count. Reward yourself for your victories.  Treat yourself, and do not let your problems be the centre of your existence. Because if you do that, you will get sad and depressed. And you can’t have it all.. Or can you. !? Do not ignore your problems.. Face them and know that sometimes it will get worse and messy before it gets better. Do not settle for what you know you can get better of. Its not a crime to sometimes put your happiness first.

Your attitude has alot to do with the quality you will live and happiness is an attitude that looks good on anybody and everybody.

“you showed me that i could feel emotions that aren’t sadness.”

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The way i see it.

Three months of holiday is coming to an end… I have looked forward to this day for over 8 weeks… I at some point wasn’t sure it would ever come… then it drew closer.. Just as i was about to be put out of my misery..  Campus closes… Damn!!!! I almost lost my mind .. cause I had reached the height of desperation for school to commence. Coming from someone who hates everything school…..,, that is nothing But desperation…. I love home and the idea of doing nothing, like totally nothing all day as much as the next girl But I had done that and i wanted so desperately to have something to look forward to every Morning other than pressing play from the series i dozed off watching… I needed some reason to get out of bed every Morning And thanks to God…. Finally looks like I’m getting one soon…. In 12 days precisely..

That being said… Now I get to go back to my room.. My own space where i can Re-organize, tear apart then put back together, come and go as i see fit.. .. Basically do as i please…kinda without anybody hovering over me.. I am thrilled as much as i am anxious..
This being my final year of University, It’s the last time i get go have my own place without paying rent…. Having money in my pockets without earning it… Living on the edge without worrying so much about consequences… Partying all night and sleeping all day cause i got not much to do anyways.. The last time my being a child does not come as a bother Or a shocker to anyone… The last year i have got to go wherever  the wind blows me and always have  an eye out. Much as i want to move on from this chapter of my life and go on to see How well i will fair in the world on my own, i am hesitant… And i am fearful… Because i don’t have the slightest idea of what is coming right at me and i can not prepare myself for what i don’t know… I am also excited to start yet another page that promises to be more exhilarating and adventurous. Part of me is impatient….Because, This is what all the hard work… Early mornings… Late nights… Relentless studying and all the occupational hazards that come with that has been building up to… To grow up to be educated ..dilligent ..smart .. Sensible .. Mature enough to enjoy the fruits of my labour.. To feel the world in any way that i choose to.. And to have the competencies that will enable me achieve far and beyond what my dreams can let me see.

This is my last year of transition between a child and a young adult. Between a student and a master. Between living a subsistence life and a permanent life. My last year till i have to put all the advice i have so eagerly received into practice… My last year to prove my academic worth..(for now) and social benefit. And Its coming at me fast…..

### 14/09/2013.###
The date i so eagerly await…. Well, the philosophical reasons as mentioned But also cause i get to see my long lost people !! 3 whole months and probably more… Mehn!!!!! Wonder When I’ll see them next after we’re done here!!

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from the memories of midnight.

So much pain hidden in your laugh… That laugh that i adore… many tears that desperately gushed from those kind eyes….the windows to your soul… That has held onto the many promises of joy and sunshine in the Morning. Agonizing memories… held captive in that brilliant mind, sounds of desperate crys of agony… You listened to through the cold long and endless august nights.. When the wind blew your childhood away…. And left you with Plenty of scattered pieces that once were a big compassionate heart.. And stains tears on that beautiful angelic face… A reminder of the past. And your fondest memories..were those with your hands pressed hard against your ears…. When walking was done on eggshells .. So not to Wake the monsters of the night..
Flash forward a few deep breaths later… And the tears that flow are of excess joy and the stains on that beautiful face are marks of exhilarating laughter … . . .. That bursts through the room like the early Morning rays of sunshine in the window crack… Morning came and took with it the memories of midnight… peace came… and serenity reins…you are content with your past … for it has brought you to your destiny. the scars are a reminder of the past that has made you stronger… strong enough to fight the demons that you once hid from…..

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My own cheer leader.

yes i am that girl… whose throat is sore from cheering herself on.. nudging herself to stand up straight… pushing herself to taking that first step … daring herself to defeat the past….,becoming all that i couldn’t dare dream of. … breaking down walls of insecurity and fear…silencing voices of condemnation and cynicism… bridging gaps of self doubt and uncertainty…. and numbing the pain from past failures … i am that girl, whispering to herself… telling herself old tales of victory… that perhaps i could make legend too… i could use my destiny to make an old tale… that girl talking into the mirror… cause who she is and who she sees are unknown to eachother… trying to reconcile them… so They can unite and be who she dreams to be.. that girl Thats scribbling visions and hopes into an over crowded journal… wanting to know where she crawled…. before she could run.. because i see a big picture…Its hung up at at the back of my eyes… and i wanna be in that picture… i am not picture perfect… But i know what the picture looks like..and all it stands for.. and that i am.

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Am not broken… im not bent either… Im a master piece… Perfectly made without error… Im a peg that fits the hole… Am that beautiful memory that breaks a smile on your face…. Im that enigma that you won’t place you’re finger on…. Im that story you want to read every night… And im the picture so bright that’s hanging in your hallway …. Im that song Thats stuck in your head… And im that poem that you recite in your sleep…. I am your shadow… And my beauty is reflected in You… You are my day, and im your night…. I am only your shadow… But i am your soulmate too….:-)

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7-item random list.

Lately i have read lots of blogs with lists. The particularly eye-catching ones including, “A shopping list for when you’re broke”, “25 i wish i knew before i turned 25”, “12 people you are when you’re drunk” among others. Much as what is in these lists may not necessarily be gospel truth, it is to some and probably alot of junk to others. So anyway, from reading those lists, being humoured and learning a thing or two about how i can direct my thoughts and cognitions, i managed to come up with a list of my own that will probably shed some light on a few things here and there.
PS: This is the work of an overly paranoid mind. Carry on.

Things you should probably know.
1. You don’t always have to go see the doctor.
Many times you will not feel perfectly ok. You’ll have a little discomfort in your tummy, a slight headache, a less than perfect vision, slight imbalance, change in skin tone, a little change in your bowels, it doesn’t always mean you have a serious ailment that needs diagnosis and eventually surgery. Sometimes its just the heavy lunch that’s causing the tummy ache, sleep deprivation causing the body imbalance, stress that’s brought on the headache,. Its not always that serious and you need not worry much unless you have concrete reason to.

2. Your friends are not perfect. Most of the time we as humans tend to see ourselves reflected in the people that we associate with. This could possibly be because we have the same interests, similar backgrounds, mutual acquaintances, etc. Safe to say there’s a little of us in our friends. There is a reason as to why your friends are your friends. Sometimes though, we tend to expect too much from the friends that we have. Mainly because we expect them to be as perfect as we want them to be. Problem is they aren’t. Just like you aren’t. They will mess up and piss on you, offend you to your face, say something not so friendly to you, or about you, use your insecurities against you. That doesn’t mean they aren’t your friends, or they’re not as close to you thought. Simply means they’re human and on the same playing field as you are. Means you should take them off that pedestal you put them on. This though doesn’t give them the right to walk allover you and you the permission to let them.

3. Everyone has got SERIOUS issues that you could never begin to fathom.
In my not so many years on this earth i’ve acquired a little wisdom that led me to the unfortunate realisation that every person that walks this earth has a bunch of little monsters that come out every night to haunt them. Even the perfect somebody that you’d love to be.. Only difference is how we treat these issues. Everyone has a different approach to the nightmares that contribute to their lives. a).We have the whiners who go on complaining, crying about their problems day in, day out to everyone that cares to listen, or is cornered into listening. They tend to self pity and elicit sympathy from anyone and everyone because they feel the suffering that has befallen then is despicable and unknown to the world.
b)Then we move onto the attention seekers who use their problems to focus everyone’s attention onto them in form of sympathy and use this to foster their hidden agendas.
c).Then we have the smileys. My personal favourites. The people that will smile through a hurricane. Here’s a famous saying that goes “smiling on the outside while mourning on the inside”. These people will have the weight of the world on their shoulders but can still afford a smile. Also known as strong people. You would never know of their troubles, or if they had any unless they volunteered that information.
d).Then finally the seasoned people. These have been sundried by the world as we know it and have the scars to prove it. People who have had their share of harsh realities that they cease to have ways of covering it up. They may not intend to show how sad they’ve been or how thorny their past was but you can see it through their eyes, the bugs under their eyes, their perspective on things, the way they operate. They have been seasoned by the coldness of the life they’ve known and have nothing but hope and bitterness to hold onto.

4. Pain never gets easier. Physical pain, that is. It feels like a whole new experience everytime regardless of how many times you’ve gone through it.

5. You’re parents will forever be your parents. You don’t choose them. And from the looks of things you’d still choose them if you had the luxury of making that choice. We love to hate them but we all know we love them more than love itself.

7. Insomnia is real. That thing where you fail to sleep all night however sleepy or exhausted you are? It is real. It can be cool and a blessing when you have series to catch up on, an exam to get ready for or a deadline to beat but it can also be a real pain when the only thing you’d rather do is sleep. When The whole neighbourhood is asleep and you’re awake listening to your then scary thoughts..

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